Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.
i feel sad tonight. i dont know if its the mothers day blues, the grocery store cashier blues, or the hormone overdose blues (paranoid sarah took morning after pill on top of regular birth control), or maybe its the uncaring boyfriend blues, or maybe its my fear of the lopping and flopping ive been feeling in my lower left guts the last couple days. and no. its not because i have to shit. its a very weird. lopping and flopping accompanied by no pain, just weird loppery floppery i tell ya!
now how do i distract my mind...
this is for you., you crazy heart... shine.
you watch everything go by. and it dances for you.
bending in sheets of surreal motion
while you were waiting. for soethign unknown. you were tired.
while you were sleeping .to drown all the noise you were laughing
sending parcels to yourself to make sure this is real.
parcels of gold flesh, sacred it feels.
while you were waiting for somethign unknown . you were tired
while you were sleeping. to drown all teh noise you were laughing.
these are my only words god.
projecting my life onto these lines
washing my hands carefully precisely
flowing bands of pink
manifestations of love
bursting from the seams
of the molecular divide.
like madly reproducing yarn trapped in a room that is only so big...
touching spaghetti noodles blindfolded.
did you know it was only spaghetti all along?
fact and fiction
colours crowns cultures
c'est histoire. c'est noveau!
lavished in cloth thread machinery
green red blue magenta spaghetti party.
i want to be a textile museum.
piano sonata no 8 is my life
it really frightens me . that i constantly hear classical music through my computer speakers.. and im not playing classical music. anywhere.. no radio. tv. cd.
i think its the toronto classical station downtown .
i mean, its alright when 'a little night music' comes on,
but still holy shit.
it even plays through my guitar amp when i turn it on.
i think they need to turn down their signal or something..
its probably mutating my cells.
fucking radio waves.
everyone loves a little motzey and beeth tho.
sure im crazy
did we just get a point?
game and set gf
stop calling me a woman
whatever turn in circles turn in circles i dont care circlies circlies circles . woh woh woh
sarah ... are you having a picnic? what are you doing
ive got to pee but i cant
my guys going in circles woh woh
dubbbideee boppp trumpet solo
you were going to say dumb
say waht you mean do what you say
just play fair... play fair.. god! lets play 200 rings... GOD
im soo being evil. yeehaw
here we go
had a good visit in tweed.
some fun times.
didnt study much.. im really bad at calculus
party saturday was fun i thought.
i wish certainty existed in my life
i hate questioning. and worrying.
i love shadow.
247th walk home
chit chat. tests worries. ew .why ew?
Treasure! it matches.
television reality world. mollie sue?bye
cross . wait. cross. weave
blood. clump. blob.! gag! watch out.
cross. car . run!
smell? dentist(drill. pick. gargle. spit)
cross. bus(never watch for pedestrians). RUN.
walk. wait . cross. hurry.
i dont know how i feel about...
Im not even close to an LJ fiend!!!
BRIan , you need to take this test.
so. msn causes lots of problems...
i always forget to select away...
i get home and theres a thousand messages.. and people
think that i am ignoring them.
sleep is very important.
im really. sleep deprived..
its gettin .
like. the movie insomnia bad.well not so much
but bad. enough.
*fuck in the subject line and starting this entry was done especially for Laura.
wow i dont writte often.. apparently idid wrong. . im fcked apparntly...
i finally got a sort of free cab ride...
he was from... i forget.. now..
but it wadx free thank god.. insdtead of being raped...
. i want money. adn
i dont want any pressure.
i hate univerisity.
im no scientist.
oops. drunk posts.. had to edit this one...
ALI and LAURA (and anyone this involves)
soooo. we can partay at my house either friday or saturday night.. probably saturday, cause the parents are going away.. i have their permission of course.. sooo ya... i'll be home late monday night.. so i'll chat with you sometime this weeek and we can make plans.
go reading week.!
i. want to quit school
i feel sick... i thought i did really well on my chemistry midterm this morning... i studied really hard.... but as the day went on i kept realizing more mistakes that i had made.... now im down from my hopeful 80 to a 70... and i just dont want to admit to myself that it is possibly even lower than that.... and they wont bellecurve cause someone definetly got 100 on it... it was a really easy test... i jsut fucked up a bunch.... omg so once again it has been proved taht when sarah studies for tests..... it doesnt pay off ... so physics.... i ahvent opened my text book once this semester... and. im going to deal with you tomorrow. and. i hope. i pass....(just passsing is considered good with physics... i believe anyways.. its fucked)
apparantly i dont absorb new information... whats there is just there ithink.... fuck.. i cant even do anything. cause i feel so horribly sick about my chemistry exam.... stupid stupid mistakes.. fuck fuck fuck. i fuckign put double bonds in BeCl2!!!!!! im so pissed.. okay... man i dont know what to do with myself....
what a hottie
joe and angela just woulndt stop callinghere last night.. hmmmm...
ya . so .. i have a zit on my forehead. and. i thought that was important enough to write a livejournal entry...
its a biggggggy.. like. one of those really painful ones.... i never get them. so this. is pretty serious business!
and. i need to study chemistry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but ... ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!
today. my journal is going to say.
3 hr calculus lecture. is. very... hard to make it through without lots of coffee and cigarette breaks.
it is also going to say. that i really. like. fantomas. walking home in the city at night... well. i do all the time. . but. .
my journal also says
that a classmate just said they were intimidated by my smartness!!! hahhahaa thats hilarious...
hmm. well. integrals are my friend.
physics will be the death of me.
i like froot loops
vitamin c is my best friend.
and. orangutans . rock. the house. biatches.
its hilarious how you do not see 1 conservative sign in all of toronto... hilarious. in a great way.
haha first of all last week i read all my past live journal posts form like a couple yrs ago.. they are so . funny adn pathetic.....
yes.. very exciting.
second... my new class is gonna be fun i think it is a class on beethoven... only one written assignment so thats cool...
thiiird..... im investing in a new set of strings and a bow for the cello probably tomorrorw. . the final fantasy show last night inspired me to do this. because i need to start playing more. and if the cello sounds. better. i will be more motivated...
learn the electric slide here...
it rocks.... i even joined the fanclub.
saw buck 65 tonight at the art gallery of ontario in toronto. it was free.. and realllly really cool.
he did a few new songs that he is working on , and.. did a lot of talking . really. funny stories... hes a really great speaker. it was super awesome. small theatre. very intimate.
i hope this picture isnt too big.
Today is a good day! :)
i bought fries from this chip truck.. which i ve been to before. and theres a pretty girl that works there... and she is usually pretty stressed out. or so. it seems..
today. she seemed so happy. and she gave me this. little. but brilliant smile. and. i gave her one. back. and. it was just.. nice..
thhhen.. when i was eating outside . all the little hungry chickadees came swarming. around.. .they are so cute.. and. this guy that was eaeting at the table across from me... had a chickadee fly right up on the table... and. he slowly. hopped forward.. closer and closer.. and. it was soo cute.. and the guy and the bird were staring right at each other. haha. it was awesome. and then the guy looked up at me who was looking at this.. and i smiled.at him..in a... 'what a funny awesome situation' and he smiled. back. and once. again. i liked this.
then. someone i know came up to me. we chatted briefly. and his friend. introduced himself to me.. and. we shook. hands. and i met someone. new! and. i like this alot to...
i like meeting new people
then. my physics. lab. wasnt soooo bad.... it still.. was a boring. crappy. stressful physics lab.. but. not as bad as i anticipated.... i got my previous weeks lab report back. and i only got 63... but. this. just made me laugh... not cause. i dont care. but because. physics. is hard.. and. it was my first attempt.! so.. thats ok.. .
THEN to make my whole day the BEST in the world!!!!!1
I PASSED MY PHYSICS EXAM!!!!!!!!! 55% !!!!!!!!! belive me this is awesome!!! hahahhaha that test was soo brutall!! i think im below the class average... butI DONT CARE!!! i m soooo happy!!! i think peopleare so funny tho.. this girl i know got 72.. and. shes like.. ohh .. that sucks... but thats like 15% above the average i think! thats soo GOOD!! i swear half of these university kids are gonna drive themselces crazy.. literally... obsessing over school.. its good to want to do well.. obviously. but... if you tried your best.. you. have to accept the results.. and if you know you didnt put a lot of effort into it, well.. try harder next time . i guess... i dont know..
but im happy. today... my last mid term is tomorrow.. calculus!!
but. i need to eat..